Anonymous: I've had a question on my mind and am curious to hear your thoughts. Do you think it's possible to be trans but not want to transition? I haven't told anyone this but sometimes I think I might be ftm but feel like transitioning is not an option for me and that it's not something i want. currently I identify as lesbian and seem ok. I dont seem to experience too much dysphoria but i often wish i had a more of a male body and imagine and think of myself as male from time to time. Thoughts? thanks!

Well, yes, I do think this is possible!

I think first of all trans* is a term that includes all sorts of variation on the traditional concept of a birth sex/gender identity/gender expression bundle.

Some people experience their gender expression as a performance and use that experience to do drag or genderplay. They might identify as trans* but be comfortable with their assigned birth sex and not desire transition. Some people’s gender identity might not be strictly binary (e.g. solely male or solely female) so transition isn’t something that would necessarily align their gender identity and gender expression and thus is not something they want or need to do. Some people absolutely identify as a gender (even a binary gender) that differs from their assigned birth sex, but have decided that it does not make sense or is not worth the cons of transitioning to live in the role of the gender with which they identify (for example there is a fairly large community of trans women who live as women only online and continue to present as cisgender men in the rest of their lives for a variety of reasons).

I think it is also worth exploring (maybe as a society and not just as you the individual) where some of this dysphoria comes from. I’ve often heard butch and androgynous lesbians express discomfort with the more feminine aspects of their body and I’ve read literature that blames society and even queer culture to a certain extent for not leaving room for female bodies in female masculine spaces. Something that I think dirt (who is transphobic and awful and I would never directly reference or support as a whole, and to whom I will not link now) has importantly begun to address (if only she could do it in a way that doesn’t shame or demonize transgender ppl) is a sort of internalized misogyny amongst butch and androgynous lesbians that causes them to dislike parts of their body even if they don’t identify as trans or men.

For you, dear anonymous asker, I would stay open to all identities and expressions (advice I’d give to anyone by the way), and roll with what feels comfortable to you, regardless of whether you have a name for it or can point to someone else who is feeling or doing the same.

For the mild dysphoria and the desire for a more male body, perhaps you will be satisfied by a more masculine physique that bulking up in certain muscle groups can help with. If not, then perhaps you will take kindly to binding. I wouldn’t recommend medical interventions because I don’t know you and this does seem to be manageable discomfort that may or may not be corrected by an actual transition. But of course you already stated that you didn’t feel interested in that anyway!

Best of luck to you!