I wanted to include the people close to me in my gender journey. So I was open with close friends and immediate family almost from the beginning. I’m also in a queer place and had confidence that my friends and family would be pretty accepting.
I also needed to live and present as a man to “know” that I was trans. I needed to experiment in that to know what I needed to do next.
I can’t say what is right for you, but I do know that harboring a heavy secret without an outlet can be exhausting and emotionally dangerous. So only keep yr gender journey private for as long as is absolutely necessary.
And maybe find a couple of friends and allies who you can be honest with and say - I’ve been thinking about this. This is who/what I think I am, but I’m not sure, and I might realize something different in a bit. This is an evolving identity and I just really need to be open about it with someone - can you accept me as is, friend?
My only suggestion is livejournal. There are a lot of communities for gay and queer trans men over there and they might know of places where you could meet other trans men interested in FTMs or you could maybe just meet some of those guys?
Anyone know of other sites?
Thanks for this message :) I’m really glad xxboy has helped
I actually don’t know anything about this unfortunately. I’d talk to the colleges you are applying to if you want them to be in touch with you using preferred names and pronouns. Talk to the admissions offices?
I’m sorry to hear about yr parents. Good luck with everything!
I’m guessing there probably are at livejournal. Try searching for MTM tags and communities over there. Anyone know of any?
Yes. I’ve considered lots of varying levels of stealthness.
Recently, I’ve been thinking about my facebook. I’ve had the desire to remove all my old photos because all these new people in my life who are meeting me as Sebastian the guy facebook friend me and then can see my trans history and my past as “Sarah.” I don’t have old photos of me tagged because that’s not who I see myself as, but I do have childhood photos of me (where I am clearly living as a young girl) tagged. And I have photos from high school and early college uploaded and not tagged.
And I regularly have short debates with myself about this. I always decide to keep the photos though, because they are important parts of who I am and I don’t want to have to erase them from people’s perceptions of me. Me dressed as the easter bunny is something I want to share with people. Even if it means outing myself as trans.
I’m also really proud of the work I do on trans issues. I like being able to share that with people in my life.
So I’ve decided that there is too much of my past that I want to show people to live stealth. That’s a personal thing and definitely a question I revisit all the time.