Almost every school lists in their mission or their educational philosophy that they want to develop the “whole child.” They’re shaping people not manufacturing educated machines. And yet, there was a very large part of my identity that I didn’t even get to explore in school. I am of course talking about my gender identity and my sexuality. I was talking to friends about this recently – about how I was never offended by the fact that I couldn’t bring a girl to a dance, for example (oh remember that at this time I was presenting as a woman, didn’t know I was a guy, and sort of identified as a lesbian). My friends agreed that we just assumed school wasn’t the place for that part of us. But looking back, school did seem to be the place for that part of my straight and normatively-gendered peers. Heterosexual, cisgender people, for the most part do get to develop their gender and sexual identities in school. From early childhood through high school graduation, schools seem a little more committed to the development of the whole child for those guys. How? + Through the families depicted in children’s books
+ Role-playing options in PreK and Kindergarten
+ Characters studied in literature and film
+ Gender segregation (boys’ line, boys’ sports, boys’ bathrooms)
+ Pairings supported by faculty and administration (whether it’s a teacher commenting on the cute “couple” in 1st grade or the awarding of Homecoming King and Queen – again, gendered – to the well-liked straight couple in high school)
+ Alums whose weddings or work are celebrated in publications
+ Sex education classes that only talk about heterosexual sex or marriage
+ Teachers who talk about their personal lives and families
+ Photos on seemingly-benign motivational posters or in textbooks
+ Science courses that only address the binary sexes and genders in biology
+ History lessons that include spousal and familial details for heterosexual figures, but not homosexual figures.
As you get ready to return to school, you may have some concerns about bullying and being around ignorant assholes in general. I want you all to know there are national, professional groups out there that will help you fight for your rights to an education without harassment. I know that most people don’t want to call attention to themselves by bringing in outside help- filing complaints- or otherwise making noise to demand equality. It isn’t a role that everyone would want to take. I don’t want to force anyone into an uncomfortable situation. But if you see injustice, consider taking a stand. There are people willing to help.
My personal experience with GLSEN is that they prefer to work WITH students to demand their own equality. There are other places that are better choices to fight more on your behalf. They do, GENERALLY, need you to make the complaint and then follow though. This may mean going back to school to see if the school will keep its word to protect you. If they do not, your fight can go forward with their help. But if their lawyers have a chat with your school, and they say they will change, and you don’t give them the chance to prove it, things may never change. I know—- not everyone is up to the fight. But if you can do it- DO IT. Don’t let the bullies, homophobic, racist, transphobic, anti-Semitic, Islamaphobic, or any other people spouting hate keep you from living your life and getting the safe education to which you are entitled.There is a lot of information on starting a Gay Straight Alliance or Queer Support group at your school. My son started one at his school when he was a junior in high school. It is still going on these 5-6 years later. It has gained in visibility and acceptance, thus helping more kids to come out in safety. Most of the references below have a section on starting a group at your school.
Be safe, be happy, do your best, and demand your rights ♡ ♡ ♡
Here are some place to seek information and get help:
ACLU (American Civil Liberties Union)
GLSEN (Gay Lesbian Straight Education Network)
SPLC (Southern Poverty Law Center)
PFLAG (Parents Family and Friends of Lesbians and Gays -also include bisexuals, and people who are transgender)
And don’t forget that all of us oldies are here for you too. I survived elementary school as “girl” that looked like a boy. I survived middle school as a “non stereotypical girl.” I survived high school as a trans guy who thought maybe he was a lesbian at a school where no one was gay nor was it talked about. And I survived a women’s college as an out and transitioning man.
I’ll be 24 soon and instead of going crazy thinking about how old I am, I am using it as reminder that my past experience might be able to help those of you just at the beginning of yr journeys. Help you to make the most of yr schooling, social scenes, and adolescence, rather than totally fear and/or hate it. Thanks to PFLAG mom for the resources!
Have fun at school, kids! I wish you safety, learning, and freedom (as much as possible).
Just for kicks, here is one of my family’s annual “first day of school” photos:
I’m the boy. :)
You can read more recent trans statistics here too. Posted them earlier but I can’t find that post right now.
I feel this post needs more reblogs
(via soulsistalesbo)
